Posts tagged ‘mental-health’
Thee Fly back into Fall Edit: 4 Self Check-In Questions to ask yourself while trying to lose weight | Fly & Fit Health Journey
October 26, 2025
Mia The Diva
How are we doing? What’s been working? What has not? What are we doing to take care of ourselves and our needs?
In today’s blog I want to talk about self check-ins. How are we doing? What’s been working? What has not? What are we doing to take care of ourselves and our needs?
I’m Mia The Diva, Founder and Creator of the flybyjuly campaign. It’s a 12-week online body confidence, health, and fitness challenge.
I am here documenting my journey as I “Get it together” in midlife. I aim to lower my A1C through nutrition and lifestyle. Follow @flybyjuly on most socials or fly along and subscribe here on the blog for weekly updates!
(Disclaimer) First and foremost, I am not a medical professional. Any information I share is based on my personal experience for educational purposes. I will not accept responsibility for the actions taken by any reader/viewer of this content. I am also not responsible for any consequential results of those actions. Please consult a physician or qualified health professional about your health, weight management or any opinions expressed here.
Let’s get Fly by July Divas!!!!
Hey Divas! ✨
Hello and welcoming Flying back into Fall! It’s officially Fall Ya’ll! Our Season in which we thrive here at FBJ! As promised, I will stand by my commitment to blog here weekly now that we are officially in Autumn. We’ve got places to go, people to see and things to do this Fall Season!
The next couple of weeks are going to be hectic lots going on and of course I will keep my divas looped in as things unfold. So here we are it’s Fall and although summer has come to an end it’s officially time to lock in and close out the year strong to set ourselves up for a successful 2026!
We are officially in the last 3 months well, almost two months of the year. I cannot even believe we are mouthing 2026 but we are here. We are here!
The most common cause that alot of us say that cause us to gain weight or find it difficult to manage it is our Emotional Eating.
I’ve always been a big girl during my entire adult hood. It started after High School, when I was younger a child I was ” skinny ” and was picky about what I ate and like most kids did not like vegetables, water, you know the things that sustain life.
As I got older, went through puberty, life happened, the good and bad. I didn’t use food as an emotional crutch. I wasn’t eating into oblivion. So that’s what I told myself to make it ” Ok. ” However, I did not make the most nutritious choices. I made my choices based off of convenience.
I had alot of shame around it because as I got older the weight just continued to pack on. I was confused because what I was eating did not, in my mind, justify the size of my changing body.
I lost my mother shortly after turning 25. I gained “grief weight.” About two years later, I got involved in my first “real” long-term relationship. I gained “relationship weight” during this time. I was in a pivotal point in my life and did not truly grieve her death until many years later.
Unprocessed grief and the excitement of a new relationship manifested in keeping busy. It also appeared in distractions, eating comfort food, and not showing up for myself or my relationship in ways I desired.
Over the years, any upset that I had in my life led me to use food as a reward. Whether it was issues at work, relationships, family, or grief, I used food as comfort and a companion.
Food in my opinion really is not the problem we need it to sustain our lives. It’s more about our relationship with food. It’s about tracking how often we are eating be it too much or not enough.
I’ve learned over the years that unhealthy eating and not getting in enough movement not only leads to weight gain but can also lead to self loathing and going into a downward spiral of anxiety that is really hard to get out of on our own. Not a good look for a diva!
It wasn’t until now that I am getting older and being grown in general doing the adult things, having doctor appointments, and navigating health scares. I realize that I do not want to grow old in pain and not being able to take care of myself.
I want to have quality of life and be capable of keeping my independence as long as possible. It really is not about the cute outfits anymore or even being desired to a great extent. I honestly just want to enjoy my life and be healthy anything else extra or if a balcony is involved 😜 is a blessing and a bonus!
I have lived enough life to know that there will never be a stress free time in life. To be honest, as long as we are here, life will continue to life and that’s a good thing. What challenges us ultimately grows us and makes for a better life experience, because when ish hits the fan as we grow we just get better and better at navigating life’s curve balls.
The important thing is to identify emotional triggers is to do a self check in. I’ve been doing this for about two years now and has been a game changer in managing my emotions.
I’m not perfect I will still have a good crash out session here and there but I no longer spiral and stay there. I have my moment or moments as they come and honor how I am feeling. I tell myself that my now is not my forever.
Facing our fears and staring at it dead in the face is the most empowering thing I have been able to do. It’s scary and uncomfortable. Journaling by far has been a game changer for me.
When life gets to be a bit more demanding and overwhelming, I journal more often. Once I started treating it as a personal meeting with myself, it became something that I look forward to each week.
It helps me get out of my head and clear my emotional bandwidth. For me, I’m old school, so it’s a real pen to real paper. Something about writing it down in real life adds the physical element of processing my emotions.
Self Check-In Check List
I’ve put together a self check in check list that can be used as often as you like or you need to check in with yourself dear diva.
How am I feeling?
What am I going to do about it?
Why do I feel this way?
How do I want to feel?
Asking myself these questions have helped me stay grounded and understand myself better and what I am feeling so that I can lean into how I want to feel.
We’re in the last 2 months of the year divas, let’s Lock-In and start wrapping up 2025!
You can subscribe here at the blog, our Hub. Get the latest Team FBJ news before it hits the streets! I will share my weekly goals & check-in with you here on Sundays and Wednesdays.
I will also share updates and lifestyle content on the fly throughout the week. This will all happen as I get back into the swing of things. As I get it together, I will gradually get back into these socials.
I’ll be well, sociable.
If this is your vibe, click & subscribe!
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia The Diva
Grieving the loss of loved ones, pets, friends, and relationships is challenging. Grief doesn’t just rob you of who you love it robs you of the person you were with them.
Ultimately, losing yourself is the hardest part. The loss of identity is by far the greatest heartbreak of them all. It’s like a glass ball that symbolizes your life has been dropped and shattered onto the floor.
(Disclaimer) Hey there! I’m Mia The Diva. I am the Founder and Content Creator of the Fly by July Campaign. It’s a 12-week online Body Confidence Health and Fitness Challenge.
I’m pre-diabetic and on a mission for the next 365 days to bring down my A1C to 5.7 or better. You can join our community by flying on over to all the things @flybyjuly. You can follow or subscribe on your favorite platforms. Stay in the loop of all the things on the Fly!
First and foremost, I am not a medical professional. Any information I share is based on my own personal experience for educational purposes. I will not accept responsibility for the actions of any reader or viewer. I will not accept responsibility for any consequential results.
Please consult a physician or qualified health professional about your health, weight management or any opinions expressed here.
So Let’s get into it & Let’s get Fly by July!!🙌🏾
Hey Divas! ✨ It’s been a while—7 whole days, 7 whole nights, weeks, months, and 2 years since my last post. I hope you’re all doing well!
I’ve missed you and blogging here in the FBJ space. Let’s make it the Flyest corner of the internet once again!
Thank you to all of you who are still subscribed. I am still here and very much alive & still Fly! There is much more to come in the world of FBJ! This blog has been something I always find myself coming back to.
It seems every time I hit my stride and get back into the swing of things life continues to happen.
In short no matter how much I tried to be “normal” I wasn’t. Life has changed & I have changed.
These past several years I have been navigating my new normal through grief. My new life is very different from what I imagined it to be. But I am still here and making it through!
Grief Journey Update: This year marks 7 years since my father’s death.
Today is my Dad’s 77th Birthday and 7 was his favorite number. Some years, I feel okay through the Holidays, Father’s Day, his Birthday and Life Moments. I get by and manage through it. But this year, I’ve really missed my dad.
During these past 7 years, I did not have an opportunity to truly grieve. Being capable of grieving in peace is a blessing.
Don’t ever let anyone or any circumstance rob you of this experience, grief is as personal as it is sacred. Protect your peace and heart at all costs, take care of you.
I had the privilege of getting to know my Dad as a person. It was just the two of us for a lot of years after Mom died.
He was so much more than my father, he was my best friend. I had the honor of witnessing him as an imperfect human. He faced his fears and gained confidence within his boundaries.
He accepted growing old with grace and humor. He truly lived his life on his own terms. I loved him completely. My entire heart was filled with love for him.
He was one of the kindest and gentlest human beings I have ever had the honor of getting to know. He was 5ft 7, maybe 5ft 8 on a good day. Lol. But he was larger than life through my eyes. I saw him this way even as a grown woman well into in her thirties.
Through my father I learned that masculinity is not only the physical strength of a man. It is also about how to treat a lady, help raise a family, or have the ability to give & provide support.
My father showed me that masculinity is also carried through the strength of a sharp mind. It’s also about having a nurturing heart and a caring soul.
Throughout his life, he showed kindness to others, sometimes at his own expense. Witnessing him finally give himself grace and be raw in his vulnerabilities made me see him more than my Dad.
How he navigated struggling through his own grief journey and personal challenges, was ultimately the greatest lesson learned from him.
What I’ve learned about grief over the years
Grief is the final gift of love because the growth that we experience as a human being is priceless. Grief is an expression of love and through the grieving process we transform into becoming our best self.
If we accept it, grief, no matter the form, is one of life’s greatest gifts. It is truly a blessing from God. The human-being we become in the process is a testament of what Grace and Love truly is.
Reconnecting to what brings me joy after grief
It’s a journey. I am in a space of reconnecting with what brings me joy. I am living a life that aligns with that joy. While I’ve been away, I’ve been focusing on rebuilding my life. I am learning how it looks now and where I am going.
This season of grief was a whirlwind of emotions and navigating unresolved trauma. This experience has left with me with being capable of giving the gift of patience, presence and empathy.
The other side of grief can be just as painful. I navigated grief and worked on myself. After this journey, I realized why things played out the way they did. I understood the role I played in my life. Everything really does happen for a reason, even if you do not understand it at the time.
Grieving the loss of loved ones, pets, friends, and relationships is challenging. Grief doesn’t just rob you of who you love it robs you of the person you were with them.
Ultimately, losing yourself is the hardest part. The loss of identity is by far the greatest heartbreak of them all. It’s like a glass ball that symbolizes your life has been dropped and shattered onto the floor.
We have two choices. We can try to piece it and glue it back together. We can make it a disco ball. Or, we can move on. Moving on is another heartbreak in itself but sometimes necessary.
When people show you who they are, believe them. This is who they truly are. Even if your heart is in denial, you have to protect your energy.
Navigating Grief is not all doom and gloom. I promise you. Grief and happiness can coexist. I’ve learned over the years that it’s normal and healthy to feel happiness and sadness especially after losing a loved one and during big life changes.
Grief doesn’t mean you’ll never smile again, finding moments of joy and being intentional about experiencing it is healing.
Finding and doing the things that bring me joy is by far has been my biggest grief hack!
The Good News About Grief
The good news about grief is that as long as we are here, we have the choice. We can live life on our own terms. We get this choice as long as we have breath in our body.
The beauty of going through grief is that you get to see a new version of yourself. This happens if you are lucky. You get to experience yourself on the other side. You can really create an authentic life that you truly love!
Horseshoe Bend – Paige, Arizona
Horseshoe Bend –
Paige, Arizona
Health Update: Walking for Mental Health, Clarity and Eating Cleaner to help lower my A1C levels.
I’ve been dealing with grief and stress. They have been affecting my health. A step outside into some sunshine and fresh air is the cure-all when I’m feeling in a slump. I’ve absolutely fallen in love with walking! It is just as important for physical health as it is for mental health. It also enhances overall wellness.
For several years, I’ve been in pre-diabetes. Recently, my A1C test is high. It’s just one point away from a diagnosis. My goal is to manage it through nutrition and lifestyle changes.
I’m working on lowering my A1C and aim to walk 2 miles daily, now managing 1 mile easily. It’s been several challenging years, but we’re still here and getting things done!
A Diva’s gotta watch her suggas so daily walking it is! My goal is to get my A1C levels down to a solid 5.7 or better. I aim to manage my blood sugars by lifestyle and not meds. I’m now at 6.3 from my last labwork a year ago so it’s a stretch but doable. It’s always best to stay ahead of things as much as we can.
During these past couple of years, working from home and becoming a homebody, I have not been as active. I am now in a space of life where I navigate a changing body.
Hormonal changes and a family history, which I believe have contributed to the higher A1C levels are at play. It also gets really, really — really comfortable being at home. AND. I’m an introvert to boot!
I can literally be unbothered for weeks. I truly vibe alone nestled away in my diva bungalow. I make a cameo here and there. But that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily healthy.
This journey is not linear; it’s two steps forward and two steps back. There are pauses, turns, and curves, all for the plot I suppose. It helps my brain make sense of all this. I’m finally starting to feel like myself. I’m getting back to me and figuring out what’s next.
Fly by July 365!
One Year to Wellness, Mia’s Journey
I will be starting my new campaign today! FlybyJuly 365! One year to wellness! Here I will be tracking my personal journey. I will also share all the things I’m doing over this next year.
Feel free to hang out as I catch my groove! To stay updated on everything social follow us @flybyjuly. We’re on most main social media sites.
You can subscribe here at the blog, our Hub. Get the latest Team FBJ news before it hits the streets! I will share my weekly goals & check-in with you here on Sundays and Wednesdays. I will also give updates and lifestyle content on the fly. This will all happen as I get back into the swing of things. As I get it together, I will gradually get back into these socials. I’ll be well, sociable. 😂
If this is your vibe, click & subscribe!
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia The Diva
Today Starts a New Chapter: Flying Back Into Fall! 10 Ways to develop a daily routine that will help you achieve your goals in 6 months!
October 12, 2023
Mia The Diva
Have you gotten off program during the summer? Did you not quite hit those Summertime Fly goals from back in January?
In this blog post we will be covering 10 Ways to develop a daily routine that will help you achieve your goals in 6 months & how to get back on track after enjoying a long summer break!
Hey Divas,
I hope everyone had an ahhhmazing summer and reached those summertime fly goals no matter their form! Even if you didn’t think you quite reach your goals you’re reading this so that means your still working towards them and are on your journey!
It’s officially official that Summertime Fly Season is over and we are Flying back into Fall! This is our time Divas, a season in which we thrive!
I just celebrated my birthday. I have an end of summer birthday so l always see it as my personal new year a time to reset and get focused for the year ahead.
We’ve got places to go, people to see and things to do as these next busy couple of months are upon us from a new school year, football season, fall festivities, the holiday’s and everything else in between!
In today’s blog post we will be talking about getting back on track after enjoying a summer break. I will be covering 10 Ways to develop a daily routine that will help you achieve your goals.
We may have slipped out of our routines or gotten off program while being out in these streets living our best Fabulous lives this summer!
We may have had a stressful summer everything not quite right, our life may be a complete hot mess and achieving our wellness goals may have been put on the back burner as we deal with life events.
We may have eaten out more than we would have liked, maybe not got in too many Fly Girl walks because it was too hot, trading water for wine, the list is endless!
The important thing is that hopefully regardless of how your wellness routine looked my hope is that you enjoyed your summer the good the bad and the not so good.
Flying back into Fall is a time where we harvest the fruits of committing to our goals throughout the year and set our intentions for the year ahead!
It’s a time to gather everything we’ve learned about ourselves over the year and use it as fuel for the year that is ahead. It’s a time of reflection and self evaluation to help keep us on track towards our goals and ultimately a better self.
So we have this big list of goals to be all that and more in 2024! Things we want to do, places we want to go and people we want to see.
How will we get there? How will we get this done? We have to know where we are going first so it’s important to have a vision of where you want to go and more importantly why. Think of your why as your motivation glue that’s holding all of this together.
The hard part is to actually believe in that goal and that we can accomplish it. So how do we do it? Well today dear diva that’s exactly what we are going to be talking about!
To accomplish a goal it requires to build habits that lead to that goal. The things that we do as a daily routine become habits that leads to crushing our goals!
10 Ways to develop a daily routine that will help you achieve your goals in 6 months!
1. Set a Goal
I know. I know. We’re always talking about goals here but we need them. Think of them as your guide on your path to success.
A diva needs to be balanced so it’s important to set a goal in all major areas of our life so we are not lacking in certain areas that can cause us distractions trying to fulfill the gaps in our life.
For example, if we’re in a tough spot financially that may be all that we see, and think about, all that we focus on but then not going on that walk we promised ourselves or drinking that smoothie.
So you see, it’s important to fill in the gaps by setting goals in different aspects of our lives. So with that said it’s best to start with where we are lacking the most and which area of our life needs the most love right now.
We will need to focus in the 4 major areas of life:
Health
Finances
Career
Relationships
2. Evaluate your current situation.
The next step is in all areas of your life mentioned above take inventory of what’s working for you and what’s not? For purposes of this blog we will be focusing on health but this can also help to balance out the other areas of your life as well.
We can not really fix anything until we get real and honest with ourselves. We can not manage what we don’t measure so again, this is why we need goals and accountability.
Take a moment and write everything down, yes old school pen and paper when we physically write something down studies have shown our brain 🧠 holds on to more memory it’s also faster and more personal.
So get a cute journal book to write down all of your thoughts or an old school composition note book for .99 cents it doesn’t have to be super fancy, this is just one of many things to write and put in there while on this journey and beyond.
However, if you choose electronic no harm in that in my opinion writing it down is a stress reliever and is great for things we need to learn or memorize vs. using tablet or phone.
3. Create a plan
So here we want to start with our goal and then create a plan so think about what your action steps will be towards that goal. A good way to look at it is when we have our goal at the forefront of our mind is what we’re doing in the moment working towards that goal or away from it?
It’s a great way to gauge yourself and exercise self discipline. Nobody told us after the age of 18 we are to parent ourselves so think of self discipline as way that we parent ourselves.
Creating a solid plan will hold a diva accountable! So get it together dear diva we’ve got things to do!
4. Where do you see yourself in 6 months?
How does your day begin? What does it look like? Sometimes it takes a lot of self talk but more importantly doing the physical work of getting into routines that become habitual over time.
Like the saying says you gotta walk the talk. My Dad always told me that and l hated it when l first started the blog.
I had to be honest with myself and felt like a hypocrite because l wasn’t living the perfect healthy lifestyle 24/7 l spoke about. I wasn’t consistent. It made me feel isolated. I felt that l had to achieve a certain level of success before being in the health & wellness industry.
I developed imposter syndrome because I thought that being heavier I didn’t have the credentials or right to share my wellness journey. In addition I was criticized by people because of my size talking about nutrition.
I’m healthy and I’m overweight. For a long time I too viewed my weight as barometer of my health the lower the number the better my health. I was so wrong.
Health is so much more than a number on the scale and that’s exactly why I started this blog. I had to bring myself back to that. Healthy truly is the “ New Skinny “ & sharing that message is what I do.
I believe my Dad had good intentions in telling me that because there is some truth to it. My takeaway from walking the talk is to have belief in yourself and walk in that truth. My internal conversation wasn’t matching my external conversation and I found myself drained, burned out and frustrated.
So what are you talking about? Lean into those personal internal conversations you have with yourself what we say definitely has an impact how we are showing up in our lives and for ourselves.
We don’t have to be perfect. We do have to be present in our journey. We do have to show up and we do have to be honest.
So take a moment dear diva, get out your journal if you have one or old school paper & pen or app tablet etc. write down your life in every detail the way you want to see it 6 months from now.
Spill all the tea give all the deets! 6 months from now you will wish you started today.
5. Build a Routine & unlearn old habits
Starting my journey I felt all over the place and really had no direction. My priorities were not really the priorities that were going to get me the life I wanted. I was anxious most of the time and kinda just spun my wheels on the road to nowhere.
At the end of the day a diva needs discipline and structure. Growing up military I thrive in a structured environment.
As I’ve said before nobody told us we have to parent ourselves once we turn 18. So building structures and routines we have to identify our goal and build up a routine around it.
Simple right? Yes, but not easy.
Habits and Routines a few questions to ask yourself .
Has anything changed in my life, affecting my eating or sleeping habits?
When did I eat last and what did I eat?
How many hours did I sleep last night?
Did I get any movement in today? If so how long?
What are my hobbies that I enjoy or what hobbies can I get back into?
Once we get into a regular practice of asking ourselves these questions we can identify the gaps where we may need some extra love and care for ourselves.
6. Taking Action!
Nothing happens if nothing happens. Action is the magic! Taking action puts us in a physical space to keep the momentum going. Sometimes we have to get into our body first before our brain 🧠
Adding a physical activity into our daily routine can be life changing. I know whenever I am full throttle on program I have such a boost of energy and vitality! It’s getting cooler now in most places and it’s starting to get so nice outside, some activity is better than none and every little bit counts!
A few benefits of being active regularly we all know these but good to have the awareness and the reminders.
• Regular physical activity is good for the bones, muscles and heart.
• Being physical regularly also helps boost brain health helping us learn, think through things and problem solve. I walk more for my mental health these days more than anything.
• Regular physical activity also helps you sleep better when I’m walking regularly I sleep so much better and my body feels so refreshed and rejuvenated when I wake up.
A restful sleep is way underrated in the wellness space, I make it a goal to work from a place of rest and try my best to make decisions from a place of rest as I am able has been a complete game changer.
Nobody has to tell you but making decisions from a place of stress and emotions is NOT a good look for a diva!
7. Keep a journal
I’ve kept a journal for the majority of my life during different phases so it’s always fun to look back and read from the thoughts of my younger self.
When I first started I just wrote whatever I was feeling it was great to process my feelings and get some clarity on situations I was going through at the time. It was a place to vent.
There are so many journals for different areas of life I keep mine all in one place but recently I stated using different journals for different spaces of my life to get some organization throughout the chaos.
So for the purpose of this blog we’ll be focusing on food journaling and fitness journaling. When I started to write down everything I put into my mouth it helped me put my nutrition into perspective.
I was able to see what was working what wasn’t and most importantly how I felt after eating certain foods was a game changer. I focused on what gave me energy and what made me tired, so over time it’s helped me make better food choices.
I haven’t quite gotten into fitness journaling I have a fit bit for that but this season I’m going to give it a go to keep a fitness journal with the same structure of my food journaling to see what’s working and what’s not. So stay tuned lol 😂
A few benefits of journaling.
• Journaling reduces stress and anxiety it helps our ability to deal with the things we don’t want to think about or try to avoid. It’s a great distraction when going through hard times because it helps us process those avoidant thoughts.
• Journaling facts vs feelings, various studies have shown writing our emotions of how we felt about an experience or trauma can help improve physical and mental health writing out emotions from an event vs just writing the facts of what happened.
• Journaling holds us accountable. Let’s be real. Life gets to Life-ing at times and if we don’t have things on the calendar life still happens and we may miss to get the things done that we haven’t written down. Time and time again I’ve proven to myself when I write it down it gets done regardless of what’s going on. It helps keep me grounded in the midst of chaos.
I use to live my life by planning my agenda in my head then the moment life switched up all my priorities went out the window and I focused on the immediate life event. I wasn’t taking care of myself first at the end of the day and ultimately I made a tough situation worse by not taking care of myself and jeopardizing my future.
My anxiety got out of control at one point in my life after losing my father and I took things on by looking at things as far as my nose. I had no real direction I felt isolated and alone because I was trying to do everything on my own.
I felt like I had to take things on by myself in alot of ways, but what I’ve found out over the years is that I have people who love and support me in my life.
I just couldn’t see it back then because I was focused on those who abandoned me at a time when I needed them the most. I’m so grateful for the support l’ve had in my life and from the most unlikely as I thought anyway, of places.
At the end of the day when people show you who they are no matter the form it is a gift and in many cases will set you free.
I did desire to live a better, to get on with my life and get out of the mess I found myself in after grief, journaling helped me through those times. It helped me understand how I was feeling and gain a perspective of my situation at the time.
It was not organized it was more of a place for venting it’s not healthy to only use it for negative emotions because it can perpetuate them, but now I have more of a structure which is life changing!
I will be sure to share in a future post about journaling where I will go into more detail, so be sure to subscribe and follow a diva! I now use journaling to get my life in order and stay on top of things. So with all my rambling journaling is extremely therapeutic and it works! Mmmmkay.
So as we are on this journey yet again to flyness, journaling is an important piece to process our emotions and can help us get some clarity on what we are putting into our body and how much exercise we are getting in.
We didn’t get this far in life with a clean slate by the time we get to these big ages we’ve got a story to share a story to tell and we’ve lived our entire lives based on this story we’ve told to ourselves.
What is the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life? How is this story showing up in your daily choices? How can you make things easier on yourself?
8. Measure Progress
We can’t really get things under control that we don’t manage. Everything has been kinda all over the place for me these past couple of years and I lost my grounding. I’ve been so focused on everything and everyone but myself.
So self check-ins are vital we can’t change what we don’t know. We have to know how we’re doing and make the adjustments accordingly.
So how does it work? Well as we know. It’s important to tell yourself, I matter. No matter what is going on around us we will always be living in our bodies for as long as we have life so make it a cozy, comfortable, welcoming place to be!
When we need something our body gives us clues. For example if we are hungry we may get hunger pains and we know our body needs food. If we are thirsty we get something to drink. If we are tired we get some rest, you get the idea.
So if you’re not feeling so great maybe even depressed, tense shoulders, tightness it can be our bodies giving us a clue to chill, relax and take some deep breaths.
Writing down how we are feeling through self check-ins can help us solve our problems and can develop as a daily habit to work through things that are difficult to process that have happened to us in our lives.
It’s not overnight, it takes being real with yourself and talking your ish out be it to a trusted friend or a professional to help you as you unpack and work through the things that you may have wanted to forget about or finding ways to show up in your your day to day life as you work through your challenges and trauma.
9. Taking Ownership of Life and Outcomes
This was a difficult one. I had been in a space of feeling extremely frustrated with my life in general, most of it was because of the decisions I had made by putting others before myself and sometimes just not making good decisions. I allowed other peoples problems become my reality. Everyone and everything was more important than my wants and needs even basic needs at times.
When you have no boundaries for yourself people will drain you, it’s not always intentional however when you don’t take care of yourself first you really cannot help anyone else even if you think you are at the time. Eventually you will drain yourself of your own time and resources and will have nothing to give back to yourself or others because you’re exhausted. I know this all way to well.
When resentment settles in because of those you “ put first “ either they betrayed you or maybe they didn’t really appreciate you or your efforts or valued your efforts because it’s normal for them. It’s so easy to play the blame game of why your life is the way that it is when it’s not working in the way you would like.
Ultimately it’s our decisions that got us here no matter how painful or out of control we are of past or current circumstances it’s up-to us to how we deal with it now.
The beautiful thing of being a grown up is that you get to parent yourself and make your own decisions. When we blame others we are essentially handing all of our power to them. F-that. Not a good look for a diva!
You have the power to change your life with one single decision. I challenge you to speak daily affirmations to yourself. Speak life into yourself by making a daily routine out of it for the next 6 months and see how your life transforms!
10. Focus on the little things
It’s the little things that add up. I can remember so many moments throughout my life most major events have been a single moment be it a happy memory or not so happy moments all of our lives are a collection of moments and memories.
So my point is the little things matter. We can build a daily habit of telling ourselves I have permission to be happy and content today. The little things add up to big things or how I like to say “ Big Thangs! “ overtime. It’s the little things that we do and tell ourselves daily is what becomes a habitual daily routine.
You’re not alone in this dear diva! This journey is so much more than our physical well-being!
We are here to support you on your journey so be sure to subscribe to this blog and follow the socials @flybyjuly to keep in the loop of all the things Team FBJ!
Don’t forget to tag a diva @flybyjuly we want to celebrate the WINS you’ve made 🙌🏽
Be Healthy! Be Fabulous! Be You!
Mia The Diva
Hey Divas,
When we think about the things we are loyal towards; like our jobs, our families, our relationships our friendships. It serves purpose, fulfillment in life, and an addition to our lifestyle.
Sometimes we are loyal to pleasing others, loyal to putting everyone and everything before ourselves. Loyal to the hustle. Loyal to the grind. Loyal to our grief our mistakes you know our coulda woulda shoulda’s. Loyal to the comfort, living in the mediocrity of our lives.
Where has it gotten us? Did we get what we wanted? If not, it does give us an opportunity to discover what we don’t like and to do something about it.
One of the best life lessons l’ve learned was from a therapist. Where do you expect to see yourself in 5 years? If we make no changes we will be where we are today. When we find ourselves at the fork in the road it’s a life shift that will go in the direction that we decide to take.
If life is not working right now then it’s time to make some decisions and take the direction on the path we would like to go.
If we make no changes life today will be the same in the next 5 years as it is for us today. Not making a decision is still a decision. It’s a decision that’s made for you. So why not take control of your life and make the decisions you actually want to make.
“ When you make a decision that is your truth. “
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I’ve made a decision to focus on what makes me smile and being loyal to that. Focusing on what makes me feel good and being loyal to that. Focusing on being curious and being loyal to that. Focusing on kindness to myself and others because you just never know what someone is going through and being loyal to that.
The greatest relationship we will ever have in this life is the one with ourselves everything and everyone else around us gets to experience our overflow. It makes everyone and everything around us better when we are at our personal best.
No one can steal our energy no one can steal our good juju vibes for themselves because it is ours. However we can give it away through people pleasing and giving in to others demands by not setting clear boundaries for ourselves.
If it doesn’t feel good likely a boundary is being crossed and your energy zapped! You will either feel inspired or drained after interacting with someone so be mindful of the company you keep dear diva.
Be loyal to your smiles.
Diva on a journey! This week’s goal 💪🏽💕 Daily To Do List
Circling back from last post I was successful in getting more activity in and managed to even lose 3 lbs.! I had a pretty active week running around and getting errands done. I actually shop at 3 different grocery stores so I got a lot of steps in going from one store to the next; since being on my wellness journey I’m real bougie about my produce and where I get it. Quality over quantity. I don’t care how great a sale is, if it’s trash I’m not buying it. I work too hard for my lifestyle and I care about what I put into my body.
This week’s goal is setting my up my days with intention and tackling my daily to do list. Call it the Virgo in me but I need structure in my life as I shared in a previous post it brings my life peace and balance so this week I will be focusing on what I need to do for this week and break it down into days. If you’re feeling stuck and trying to get it together yourself I challenge you to do the same dear diva!
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia The Diva
Disclaimer: All information on this blog is provided for informational and educational purposes only, and is not to be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this WordPress flybyjuly.com blog. Please consult your physician or a qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health and weight loss or on any opinions expressed within this blog. You as the reader must be responsible for consulting with your own health professional on matters raised here. Flybyjuly.com will not accept responsibility for the actions or consequential results of any action taken by any reader.
Hey Divas,
So as I shared in a previous post I gained 20 lbs during the pandemic. I had also lost my father 2 years prior to the world shut down and people in my life were showing me who they are and their true colors.
It was alot to deal with not dealing. Grieving can be exhausting and emotionally draining if you do not have a proper plan in place. Grieve with purpose either to be better or to get better.
There is no magic timeframe of the grieving process it can last anywhere from several days to several months to several years to a lifetime.
Time eventually does heal but more importantly it’s what we do with this time because at one point or another we will lose someone or something significant in our lives.
How will you deal?
One thing I have learned so far in my life’s journey is to always have a PLAN because if you do not have one like the saying says; plan to fail.
Although my failures have been some of my greatest blessings in life. l did not realize it at the time.
I feel like my life could have been so much easier and would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary pain if I had an awareness and the right tools to deal with life and its’ charade of shenanigans.
The fact is that life is going to happen and much of it we have no control over as much as we like to think we do.
What we do have control over however is how we are showing up and how we respond to life ish because the hard days will come and they will also —- go.
If you find yourself in a crappy space of life right now, take heart that it is not forever it is just right now.
I know it sucks.
Have faith that you will make it through dear diva.
Going through grief and life events can be a roller coaster of emotions it can also be a source of triggers especially if we’ve gone through something traumatic and haven’t properly dealt with it.
Grief is painful it can drain what’s left of our life if we don’t get it in check. There is nothing more painful than wasting our precious time.
So many of us cope with food when things are “ off “ in life some of us drugs, alcohol, binge watching our shows etc. doing anything we can do to not feel the feels of the insurmountable pain we are in. – @flybyjuly
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Avoidance can show up in so many ways but for the purpose of this blog food is our drug of choice.
The tough thing about food vs. drugs, booze or binge watching TV shows etc. is that we need food to sustain our life.
So where do we draw the line? When have we crossed the line?
Food serves so many roles in our lives; nutrition, socializing, creativity, connection, holiday gatherings the list goes on and on.
So when does a diva put the breaks on the fridge, the buffet, the online food delivery to your doorstep, the sushi nights, and those Sunday Brunches with your girls?
Where do we draw the line between I need to eat this to sustain my life, I need to eat this for my social needs, I need to eat this because I want to have fun. I need to eat this because I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m anxious or depressed.
4 Questions to ASK yourself before your EAT your Emotions Away
The next time you’re about to eat something ask yourself these four simple questions:
- H – Hungry? Am I actually hungry? Cause a Diva can get her GRUB on right about now!
- A – Anger am I angry? I’m mad, fed up and sick of everyone’s sh*t. Where’s the chips.
- L – Lonely am I lonely? Am I depressed? Ice Cream makes everything ok.
- T – Time am I busy? Do I just need something quick to get in my stomach? I’m always on the run! Just need something quick before I pass out.
What I love about these questions is that it raises awareness and when we have awareness we can make better choices.
It’s not overnight, the chips and ice cream will win somedays and that’s ok we may actually need the ice cream and the chips in that moment but not every moment.
As time goes on and we become more conscious of what we are putting into out body we can understand what’s driving us and we discover other ways to deal with our pain.
What’s Your Vice?
I love seafood. Sushi is my vice, I know not terribly unhealthy but the “ All You Can Eat “ can be too hard to resist on a diva and caused me to over eat too much at times, it can also be expensive.
It takes time dear diva to discover the code that will crack your vice. I like a lot of people am an emotional eater it served many purposes for me during some pretty dark moments in my life.
Emotional eating isn’t always sitting in a dark room with a bucket of ice cream it can be snacking, going out to eat in excess, still eating when we’re not hungry or even when a diva is just bored.
When I was feeling especially isolated I would go out for sushi two to three times a week. I now go once a month as a treat and order half rolls because I honestly love sushi even when I’m truly happy it is one of my favorite things to do.
Over time I now picked up taking a drawing class again, something that is nostalgic that reminds me of my earlier days it gets me out of the house l’m able to express my creativity and it allows me to be social.
I use to go out and eat sushi to connect and catch up with my friends. I have great memories having sushi with my friends. The pandemic happened. Life changed and then I found myself in a space where I was alone and would go out by myself to feel better.
I would go out to eat just to get out of the house, see some people even if they were strangers so I did not have to be at home looking at my 4 walls anxious and depressed.
Not a good look for a diva! So I swapped my solo sushi dates for art class.
So take some time to reflect. What can you swap your VICE for? What’s a lost hobby you have? Is there a big project that you’ve been wanting to tackle?
Once you ask yourself these 4 simple H A L T questions before you grab that bag of chips or whatever your vice you will be able to eat a little bit more mindfully and hopefully have some clarity on what’s bugging you so that you can make some better choices on your journey to flyness!
Diva on a journey! 💪🏽💕 This week’s goal: Making time for movement during my day
So circling back from last post I did not quite make it getting up 1.5 hours early everyday it was too early for me to start working out but I do have the habit of getting up early, making my juice and smoothie for the day.
I realized what was stopping me was organization. It’s probably a Virgo thing but I crave stucture in all aspects of my life so why wouldn’t my wellness journey be any different. I did not hit my intended goal but I did learn more about my self and what is working and what’s not on this journey.
So going into this week with my new found knowledge, I’ll be gettin’ it in! My movements that is 😜 anywhere I can.
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia The Diva
Disclamer: All information on this blog is provided for informational and educational purposes only, and is not to be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this WordPress flybyjuly.com blog. Please consult your physician or a qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health and weight loss or on any opinions expressed within this blog. You as the reader must be responsible for consulting with your own health professional on matters raised here. Flybyjuly.com will not accept responsibility for the actions or consequential results of any action taken by any reader.
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