Posts from the ‘Mindset’ Category
Thee Fly back into Fall Edit: 4 Self Check-In Questions to ask yourself while trying to lose weight | Fly & Fit Health Journey
October 26, 2025
Mia The Diva
How are we doing? What’s been working? What has not? What are we doing to take care of ourselves and our needs?
In today’s blog I want to talk about self check-ins. How are we doing? What’s been working? What has not? What are we doing to take care of ourselves and our needs?
I’m Mia The Diva, Founder and Creator of the flybyjuly campaign. It’s a 12-week online body confidence, health, and fitness challenge.
I am here documenting my journey as I “Get it together” in midlife. I aim to lower my A1C through nutrition and lifestyle. Follow @flybyjuly on most socials or fly along and subscribe here on the blog for weekly updates!
(Disclaimer) First and foremost, I am not a medical professional. Any information I share is based on my personal experience for educational purposes. I will not accept responsibility for the actions taken by any reader/viewer of this content. I am also not responsible for any consequential results of those actions. Please consult a physician or qualified health professional about your health, weight management or any opinions expressed here.
Let’s get Fly by July Divas!!!!
Hey Divas! ✨
Hello and welcoming Flying back into Fall! It’s officially Fall Ya’ll! Our Season in which we thrive here at FBJ! As promised, I will stand by my commitment to blog here weekly now that we are officially in Autumn. We’ve got places to go, people to see and things to do this Fall Season!
The next couple of weeks are going to be hectic lots going on and of course I will keep my divas looped in as things unfold. So here we are it’s Fall and although summer has come to an end it’s officially time to lock in and close out the year strong to set ourselves up for a successful 2026!
We are officially in the last 3 months well, almost two months of the year. I cannot even believe we are mouthing 2026 but we are here. We are here!
The most common cause that alot of us say that cause us to gain weight or find it difficult to manage it is our Emotional Eating.
I’ve always been a big girl during my entire adult hood. It started after High School, when I was younger a child I was ” skinny ” and was picky about what I ate and like most kids did not like vegetables, water, you know the things that sustain life.
As I got older, went through puberty, life happened, the good and bad. I didn’t use food as an emotional crutch. I wasn’t eating into oblivion. So that’s what I told myself to make it ” Ok. ” However, I did not make the most nutritious choices. I made my choices based off of convenience.
I had alot of shame around it because as I got older the weight just continued to pack on. I was confused because what I was eating did not, in my mind, justify the size of my changing body.
I lost my mother shortly after turning 25. I gained “grief weight.” About two years later, I got involved in my first “real” long-term relationship. I gained “relationship weight” during this time. I was in a pivotal point in my life and did not truly grieve her death until many years later.
Unprocessed grief and the excitement of a new relationship manifested in keeping busy. It also appeared in distractions, eating comfort food, and not showing up for myself or my relationship in ways I desired.
Over the years, any upset that I had in my life led me to use food as a reward. Whether it was issues at work, relationships, family, or grief, I used food as comfort and a companion.
Food in my opinion really is not the problem we need it to sustain our lives. It’s more about our relationship with food. It’s about tracking how often we are eating be it too much or not enough.
I’ve learned over the years that unhealthy eating and not getting in enough movement not only leads to weight gain but can also lead to self loathing and going into a downward spiral of anxiety that is really hard to get out of on our own. Not a good look for a diva!
It wasn’t until now that I am getting older and being grown in general doing the adult things, having doctor appointments, and navigating health scares. I realize that I do not want to grow old in pain and not being able to take care of myself.
I want to have quality of life and be capable of keeping my independence as long as possible. It really is not about the cute outfits anymore or even being desired to a great extent. I honestly just want to enjoy my life and be healthy anything else extra or if a balcony is involved 😜 is a blessing and a bonus!
I have lived enough life to know that there will never be a stress free time in life. To be honest, as long as we are here, life will continue to life and that’s a good thing. What challenges us ultimately grows us and makes for a better life experience, because when ish hits the fan as we grow we just get better and better at navigating life’s curve balls.
The important thing is to identify emotional triggers is to do a self check in. I’ve been doing this for about two years now and has been a game changer in managing my emotions.
I’m not perfect I will still have a good crash out session here and there but I no longer spiral and stay there. I have my moment or moments as they come and honor how I am feeling. I tell myself that my now is not my forever.
Facing our fears and staring at it dead in the face is the most empowering thing I have been able to do. It’s scary and uncomfortable. Journaling by far has been a game changer for me.
When life gets to be a bit more demanding and overwhelming, I journal more often. Once I started treating it as a personal meeting with myself, it became something that I look forward to each week.
It helps me get out of my head and clear my emotional bandwidth. For me, I’m old school, so it’s a real pen to real paper. Something about writing it down in real life adds the physical element of processing my emotions.
Self Check-In Check List
I’ve put together a self check in check list that can be used as often as you like or you need to check in with yourself dear diva.
How am I feeling?
What am I going to do about it?
Why do I feel this way?
How do I want to feel?
Asking myself these questions have helped me stay grounded and understand myself better and what I am feeling so that I can lean into how I want to feel.
We’re in the last 2 months of the year divas, let’s Lock-In and start wrapping up 2025!
You can subscribe here at the blog, our Hub. Get the latest Team FBJ news before it hits the streets! I will share my weekly goals & check-in with you here on Sundays and Wednesdays.
I will also share updates and lifestyle content on the fly throughout the week. This will all happen as I get back into the swing of things. As I get it together, I will gradually get back into these socials.
I’ll be well, sociable.
If this is your vibe, click & subscribe!
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia The Diva
What’s stopping you from getting started on your Wellness Journey? • Fly by July Campaign
February 7, 2023
Mia The Diva
Hi Divas!
Here we are into February of this New Year! I hope you found the last post helpful in helping you envision your best 2023!
What’s stopping you from getting started on your Wellness Journey?
So here we are, where do we start? We know everything we need to do but somehow we’re not showing up for ourselves. Turning over when we set that early alarm.
Our beds are soooo comfy and it’s cold outside. We love our pillows, fluffy duvets, and warmth from our beds it’s so cozy here. I realized l didn’t want to get out of bed after having good intentions and setting that early alarm because ultimately it’s comfortable. It’s secure. It’s what l know.
I started thinking about other areas of my life and everything is comfortable, secure and what l know. I found myself having this aha moment of being in status quo.
Especially working from home my days are running into each other and look much of the same from day to day. I realized if l continue to stay in this bed (metaphorically) nothing is ever going to change in my life.
Shortly after the new year started, l was having a conversation and discussing my health goals for the new year with a friend. I work long days and was figuring out ways to make time so that l can get my walk in daily.
During our conversation I asked: “ Is this really realistic? Am l really going to wake up at 6am everyday?”
My friend responded simply and with the most care had said:
“ You have to —-.”
In that moment l realized what was stopping me from getting started on my wellness journey, something shifted. I realized l wasn’t making it a priority and was not given it a sense of urgency.
That night l laid out my workout clothes on my bed. The next morning l got up and went for my walk.
It turned into something that l realized l must do because l’m never going to own my life if l don’t take control of my health and the way l feel.
I don’t hit my workout goals everyday but l’m learning to change my scope of how l view consistency. I’m learning that tomorrow is always another day and another chance. It will never be done. This is truly a lifestyle change.
So this week is the official first week of campaign season! This year’s campaign will run through July 1st 2023. So be sure to Subscribe & Follow a diva!
I am here simply to share information l’m learning as l am on my own wellness journey to improve my health. I hope this blog can be a source of inspiration and motivation to get you started on your own healthy path dear diva!
Please know we are all doing this for ourselves but not by ourselves. I’m right here with you along the way as we get through this together and hopefully partner up in supporting each other towards something great.
The First Step: Set a Goal
We can not achieve success if we do not have something that we are moving towards. A goal helps us measure where we want to be.
It’s one thing for us to say we want to look like we had a BBL it’s another to have an ultimate goal that is as ambitious as attainable.
What’s attainable?
Everyday we are bombarded with IG Beauty Standards. IG models don’t even look like IG models IRL so stop the foolishness! Don’t let social media and society dictate how you should look and feel about your body.
Having unrealistic body aspirations only sends us down a path of poor self image and not feeling like we are “ good “ enough. – Not a good look for a Diva!
A quick story time. I started seeing a nutritionist about post pandemic 2021 due to some health challenges l was having. I never had suffered from poor body image. I’ve always been a big girl my entire adult life.
My mother was a Big Beautiful Woman and it didn’t stop her or what she wanted out of life which was a husband and a family. She didn’t have to work. She went to work because she chose to which are two very different things.
So in short as l got older and gained weight over the years l never saw it as a reflection of my value as a person, self worth or inability to date or be in a relationship. I’ve always been proud of my body and her strength.
However my scope of health was quite the opposite ironically. Like most of society my ideal of health was having the body of an athlete and eating salads.
I started having some issues with low iron, elevated blood sugar and cholesterol. I went to a nutritionist to help me with the tools to improve my diet, health & get my body into “ healthy “ shape.
My story about going to a nutritionist is for another post but it has been one of the key factors on my healing journey and has really helped put the pieces of my life together.
So during one of our sessions l was asking her ways that l can eat to lose weight and change my body. She had asked me, “ Mia, what if you never lost another pound? “ — l was speechless.
I was taken aback and even slightly offended like she didn’t have belief in me or something. That l was just destined to be this way forever. When l tell you that this was one of the most empowering moments of my journey this was that moment.
It took me sometime to think about it. It was about a week or so and when we met for our next session l was able to share with her that l had come to the actualization that all l could do is be myself.
All l can ever be is my healthiest self that is something that l can change if l don’t like it. Ultimately we are all born with what we’ve got. It was in that very moment that l was finally free from the perfectionism of my wellness journey.
Ever since then l show up. I strive to give my best and to be consistent is the goal. I’m not perfect l have ways to go but l am learning more and more about myself everyday. Our bodies are beautiful and can do some pretty amazing things.
I honor my body she shows up for me everyday as long as l have breath in this body. That was such a great question my nutritionist asked me and l am so grateful for her. It was a powerful loaded question that changed the entire direction of my journey.
What’s a realistic expectation?
There are three basic body types. It’s important for a diva to understand her shape and what she can and can’t expect from it.
The Apple Diva
This body type stores fat in the upper torso. The extra fat is usually carried around the tummy area this body type had evolved over time for longs periods without food. It’s important that Apples are health conscious to cardiac disease as they tend to store fat in the upper body.
The Pear-shaped Diva
This body type holds majority of fat in the lower body hips, thighs & butt. This body type mostly are woman and have evolved over time for fertility and breastfeeding so it’s harder to lose but not as much of a health risk as tummy fat.
The Proportionate Diva
This body type fat cells are evenly distributed throughout the entire body. They lose everywhere and gain everywhere. It all adds and comes off evenly.
Weekly Challenge:
So as you can see we all have a shape where our fat goes. Working out and eating a particular way we can altar our bodies to a point. Our genetics will kick in and we will have our reality. Once we get this we can let go of unreachable crazy “lG Model goals “ and replace them with real ones.
I challenge you this week to identify your basic body type and start thinking about a fitness goal of where you want to be by July 1st.
I want you to imagine it’s July 1st 2023 and you have crushed your fitness goal or on your way to crushing & achieving your fitness goals.
What changed in how you’re showing up today vs how you were showing up in your life this first week of February 2023?
What are you doing different these days? What does your daily routine look like? I’d love to hear from you comment below if you’d like to share & have some support & accountability towards your goals! 💪🏽💕
You can follow us @flybyjuly on all the things social tag a diva! We would love to check in on you & support you on your wellness journey as well!
I’m definitely working on getting more active on my socials it’s been a minute but l mostly hang out here on the blog & pod!
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia Thee Diva
Hey Divas,
When we think about the things we are loyal towards; like our jobs, our families, our relationships our friendships. It serves purpose, fulfillment in life, and an addition to our lifestyle.
Sometimes we are loyal to pleasing others, loyal to putting everyone and everything before ourselves. Loyal to the hustle. Loyal to the grind. Loyal to our grief our mistakes you know our coulda woulda shoulda’s. Loyal to the comfort, living in the mediocrity of our lives.
Where has it gotten us? Did we get what we wanted? If not, it does give us an opportunity to discover what we don’t like and to do something about it.
One of the best life lessons l’ve learned was from a therapist. Where do you expect to see yourself in 5 years? If we make no changes we will be where we are today. When we find ourselves at the fork in the road it’s a life shift that will go in the direction that we decide to take.
If life is not working right now then it’s time to make some decisions and take the direction on the path we would like to go.
If we make no changes life today will be the same in the next 5 years as it is for us today. Not making a decision is still a decision. It’s a decision that’s made for you. So why not take control of your life and make the decisions you actually want to make.
“ When you make a decision that is your truth. “
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I’ve made a decision to focus on what makes me smile and being loyal to that. Focusing on what makes me feel good and being loyal to that. Focusing on being curious and being loyal to that. Focusing on kindness to myself and others because you just never know what someone is going through and being loyal to that.
The greatest relationship we will ever have in this life is the one with ourselves everything and everyone else around us gets to experience our overflow. It makes everyone and everything around us better when we are at our personal best.
No one can steal our energy no one can steal our good juju vibes for themselves because it is ours. However we can give it away through people pleasing and giving in to others demands by not setting clear boundaries for ourselves.
If it doesn’t feel good likely a boundary is being crossed and your energy zapped! You will either feel inspired or drained after interacting with someone so be mindful of the company you keep dear diva.
Be loyal to your smiles.
Diva on a journey! This week’s goal 💪🏽💕 Daily To Do List
Circling back from last post I was successful in getting more activity in and managed to even lose 3 lbs.! I had a pretty active week running around and getting errands done. I actually shop at 3 different grocery stores so I got a lot of steps in going from one store to the next; since being on my wellness journey I’m real bougie about my produce and where I get it. Quality over quantity. I don’t care how great a sale is, if it’s trash I’m not buying it. I work too hard for my lifestyle and I care about what I put into my body.
This week’s goal is setting my up my days with intention and tackling my daily to do list. Call it the Virgo in me but I need structure in my life as I shared in a previous post it brings my life peace and balance so this week I will be focusing on what I need to do for this week and break it down into days. If you’re feeling stuck and trying to get it together yourself I challenge you to do the same dear diva!
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia The Diva
Disclaimer: All information on this blog is provided for informational and educational purposes only, and is not to be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this WordPress flybyjuly.com blog. Please consult your physician or a qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health and weight loss or on any opinions expressed within this blog. You as the reader must be responsible for consulting with your own health professional on matters raised here. Flybyjuly.com will not accept responsibility for the actions or consequential results of any action taken by any reader.
Hey Divas,
So as I shared in a previous post I gained 20 lbs during the pandemic. I had also lost my father 2 years prior to the world shut down and people in my life were showing me who they are and their true colors.
It was alot to deal with not dealing. Grieving can be exhausting and emotionally draining if you do not have a proper plan in place. Grieve with purpose either to be better or to get better.
There is no magic timeframe of the grieving process it can last anywhere from several days to several months to several years to a lifetime.
Time eventually does heal but more importantly it’s what we do with this time because at one point or another we will lose someone or something significant in our lives.
How will you deal?
One thing I have learned so far in my life’s journey is to always have a PLAN because if you do not have one like the saying says; plan to fail.
Although my failures have been some of my greatest blessings in life. l did not realize it at the time.
I feel like my life could have been so much easier and would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary pain if I had an awareness and the right tools to deal with life and its’ charade of shenanigans.
The fact is that life is going to happen and much of it we have no control over as much as we like to think we do.
What we do have control over however is how we are showing up and how we respond to life ish because the hard days will come and they will also —- go.
If you find yourself in a crappy space of life right now, take heart that it is not forever it is just right now.
I know it sucks.
Have faith that you will make it through dear diva.
Going through grief and life events can be a roller coaster of emotions it can also be a source of triggers especially if we’ve gone through something traumatic and haven’t properly dealt with it.
Grief is painful it can drain what’s left of our life if we don’t get it in check. There is nothing more painful than wasting our precious time.
So many of us cope with food when things are “ off “ in life some of us drugs, alcohol, binge watching our shows etc. doing anything we can do to not feel the feels of the insurmountable pain we are in. – @flybyjuly
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Avoidance can show up in so many ways but for the purpose of this blog food is our drug of choice.
The tough thing about food vs. drugs, booze or binge watching TV shows etc. is that we need food to sustain our life.
So where do we draw the line? When have we crossed the line?
Food serves so many roles in our lives; nutrition, socializing, creativity, connection, holiday gatherings the list goes on and on.
So when does a diva put the breaks on the fridge, the buffet, the online food delivery to your doorstep, the sushi nights, and those Sunday Brunches with your girls?
Where do we draw the line between I need to eat this to sustain my life, I need to eat this for my social needs, I need to eat this because I want to have fun. I need to eat this because I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m anxious or depressed.
4 Questions to ASK yourself before your EAT your Emotions Away
The next time you’re about to eat something ask yourself these four simple questions:
- H – Hungry? Am I actually hungry? Cause a Diva can get her GRUB on right about now!
- A – Anger am I angry? I’m mad, fed up and sick of everyone’s sh*t. Where’s the chips.
- L – Lonely am I lonely? Am I depressed? Ice Cream makes everything ok.
- T – Time am I busy? Do I just need something quick to get in my stomach? I’m always on the run! Just need something quick before I pass out.
What I love about these questions is that it raises awareness and when we have awareness we can make better choices.
It’s not overnight, the chips and ice cream will win somedays and that’s ok we may actually need the ice cream and the chips in that moment but not every moment.
As time goes on and we become more conscious of what we are putting into out body we can understand what’s driving us and we discover other ways to deal with our pain.
What’s Your Vice?
I love seafood. Sushi is my vice, I know not terribly unhealthy but the “ All You Can Eat “ can be too hard to resist on a diva and caused me to over eat too much at times, it can also be expensive.
It takes time dear diva to discover the code that will crack your vice. I like a lot of people am an emotional eater it served many purposes for me during some pretty dark moments in my life.
Emotional eating isn’t always sitting in a dark room with a bucket of ice cream it can be snacking, going out to eat in excess, still eating when we’re not hungry or even when a diva is just bored.
When I was feeling especially isolated I would go out for sushi two to three times a week. I now go once a month as a treat and order half rolls because I honestly love sushi even when I’m truly happy it is one of my favorite things to do.
Over time I now picked up taking a drawing class again, something that is nostalgic that reminds me of my earlier days it gets me out of the house l’m able to express my creativity and it allows me to be social.
I use to go out and eat sushi to connect and catch up with my friends. I have great memories having sushi with my friends. The pandemic happened. Life changed and then I found myself in a space where I was alone and would go out by myself to feel better.
I would go out to eat just to get out of the house, see some people even if they were strangers so I did not have to be at home looking at my 4 walls anxious and depressed.
Not a good look for a diva! So I swapped my solo sushi dates for art class.
So take some time to reflect. What can you swap your VICE for? What’s a lost hobby you have? Is there a big project that you’ve been wanting to tackle?
Once you ask yourself these 4 simple H A L T questions before you grab that bag of chips or whatever your vice you will be able to eat a little bit more mindfully and hopefully have some clarity on what’s bugging you so that you can make some better choices on your journey to flyness!
Diva on a journey! 💪🏽💕 This week’s goal: Making time for movement during my day
So circling back from last post I did not quite make it getting up 1.5 hours early everyday it was too early for me to start working out but I do have the habit of getting up early, making my juice and smoothie for the day.
I realized what was stopping me was organization. It’s probably a Virgo thing but I crave stucture in all aspects of my life so why wouldn’t my wellness journey be any different. I did not hit my intended goal but I did learn more about my self and what is working and what’s not on this journey.
So going into this week with my new found knowledge, I’ll be gettin’ it in! My movements that is 😜 anywhere I can.
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia The Diva
Disclamer: All information on this blog is provided for informational and educational purposes only, and is not to be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this WordPress flybyjuly.com blog. Please consult your physician or a qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health and weight loss or on any opinions expressed within this blog. You as the reader must be responsible for consulting with your own health professional on matters raised here. Flybyjuly.com will not accept responsibility for the actions or consequential results of any action taken by any reader.
Hey Divas,
I have a confession:
Self Care Sundays are a real thing for me!
It’s my only true day of rest. I love and live for my Sundays these days. So l get as much as l can get done during the week to enjoy some much deserved designated chill time on any given Sunday.
Not all of us have the time or the coins.
Self care can look like getting enough sleep, eating clean, getting outside and doing something you find fun that’s active. Drinking water. Yes simple things like drinking water is telling yourself daily I LOVE YOU and I want to keep you ALIVE!
Keeping on top of our mental health, such a big one it can creep up on a dime.
So take care of yourself dear diva.
All of these things together show us how much we care about ourselves, so always send that good juju and positive vibes your way on the daily!
What we do with intention is what gets our attention and depending about how we feel about ourselves is the action that we will take. @flybyjuly
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That can look like having the ‘ intention ‘ to get up early to work out to keep active & healthy we will give it our ‘attention’ set our alarms, meal prep and do all the things… but some how when that alarm goes off if you’re feeling crappy about life yourself etc. or you may get distracted by someone or something.
We either turn over or hit snooze if we are feeling anxious, depressed, or go off and do that other thing to distract ourselves, attend to whomever is needing our attention like kids, spouses, partners, pets and skip the work out.
We find ourselves in a rut and then shame ourselves for not working out or maybe we did not get enough sleep from being up all night being anxious or depressed the night before. Awareness is everything it gives us choices, that’s why it is so important to get our mental health together.
When we do things with intention there is an energy we place on it. The more love and compassion we give ourselves with non judgement shows self kindness, so sprinkle that Love onto yourself on the daily dear diva!
This is not a one size fits all approach we just have to find what works best for us that is in alignment with our lifestyle, desires and goals. However on the same note if we continue to do what we’ve always done we will continue to get what we’ve always gotten.
3 Ways How You Can Start Your Day With Intention
I know easier said then done but one day you will wake up and decide you don’t want to feel like this anymore or ever again and you’ll make a change just like that.
It’s a process and that’s why it’s called a journey. Taking just one extra step each day that’s in the direction of where you want to go will add up over time.
- Start Everyday with a MUST!
Like the saying goes where your attention goes energy flows so start your day with a MUST! List everything you MUST do for the next day the night before. This will set up your subconscious mind while you sleep and rest for the following day.
2. This week I will ______________everyday.
I challenge you to do one thing this week towards a better you let’s start with a goal. This week l will ____________ everyday.
3. Track Your Progress
Track your progress write a word or phrase on a sticky note and place it on your mirror about how you’re feeling or capture it in a notebook if you choose for privacy.
Diva on a journey 💪🏽💕 This Week’s Goal: Getting up 1.5 hours early everyday!
As for myself this week l will be getting up 1.5 hours early to workout everyday. ( Yikes ) but Ima do it. Let’s see how l do, l start an early day so l’m up for the challenge!
You can follow a diva on all the things @flybyjuly
Be Healthy Be Fabulous Be You!
Mia The Diva
Disclamer: All information on this blog is provided for informational and educational purposes only, and is not to be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this WordPress flybyjuly.com blog. Please consult your physician or a qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health and weight loss or on any opinions expressed within this blog. You as the reader must be responsible for consulting with your own health professional on matters raised here. Flybyjuly.com will not accept responsibility for the actions or consequential results of any action taken by any reader.
Fly by July Campaign! 